When change cannot be forced

There are moments when we insist that something should change. A situation, a relationship, a habit. Sometimes even a person.

And yet, in the view of Chinese Medicine, change isn't something that can simply be imposed.

It's a process. And, like every process, it needs conditions.

One of the fundamental principles of Chinese Medicine is that yin and yang are not static realities. They are in constant relationship, they influence each other, alternate, and, under certain conditions, transform into one another.

For a transformation to manifest, certain inner conditions must be present, and the right moment must have arrived.

It's a concept we can observe in nature too: a seed already contains the possibility of becoming a plant, but planting it in the soil isn't enough. It needs water, nourishment, temperature, light and time.

Change isn't imposed on the seed. The conditions are created for it to happen.

In yin-yang theory, a transformation can occur when the inner conditions are sufficiently mature.

This is an important point: it means that what we see from the outside doesn't necessarily tell the whole story. A process can look still while, inside, something is changing.

And this is true for us too. There are moments when we know rationally that we want to change, but something inside us isn't ready yet. Other times, change has already begun, even if it isn't visible yet.

Chinese Medicine also considers a second condition: the right timing. Not everything can happen at any moment.

The transformation of yin into yang, and of yang into yin, follows a process, and reaches a certain stage before the shift can take place. It's the principle of maturation.

Just as winter cannot be skipped to reach spring sooner, some personal processes need their own time too.

This doesn't mean staying still. It means learning to tell apart what can be transformed now from what still needs time.

Perhaps this is where this ancient principle becomes especially interesting. How often do we wait for someone to change? To understand. To let something go. To finally take the step we believe is necessary.

But a person doesn't change simply because someone else wishes it. We can talk, accompany, create a different space, change the conditions around us. But we cannot take the place of someone else's inner process.

We can create conditions. We cannot create someone else's maturation for them.

And the same is true for us. Sometimes we ask ourselves why we still can't change, when perhaps the question could be a different one: what conditions am I missing for this change to truly happen?